My relationship with my husband, through dating and now marriage, I have really changed as a person…for the better of course. I did not realize it but I was a very tense person and I didn’t know when to stop…working, partying, playing or socializing. In looking back, I realize that I was a very tired person who was also physically and mentally unhealthy. I was young. Plain and simple. Young and stupid and careless. Of course, I am not saying that everything I did was unhealthy because I made some really great friends and went on some amazing adventures. I learned so much back then that it has made me a better person. That leads to present day where I have been happily married for five years but together for seven years. In the early years, I worked hard at my jobs and often brought work home to the chagrin of my husband. He was very helpful, accommodating and understanding but after a few years he saw the damage I was doing to myself and to our relationship. The damage to myself was more disconcerting than the relationship because it was obvious we were very much in love (and still are) and that we’d work through those issues. I was stressed quite a bit and overwhelmed so often that I would cry or vent so often that I was it pained my husband. That is not fair nor is it respectful.
In the years that followed, I became painfully aware of certain things, people and organizations I had to detach myself from because the effort became one-sided. I felt unappreciated and I was treated very unfairly and disrespectfully be several people I thought were my friends and comrades. My husband helped me tread these dark waters and dark times because I was reluctant to give them up because I felt obligated. I was shamed by these people for doing things the way I did. The point of this story is that I was always on the go and I did not know how to say “no.” I was not very good at relaxing or letting things roll of my shoulders. I let things and people get to me.
It was a long and hard journey to get to where I am now. To relax, I read a book, watch a funny sitcom, feed and care for my daughter’s hens, have a conversation with my husband, clean and tidy up our house and tackle DIY projects. I love my life and I love the fact that I can consciously make myself relax because a stressed and overwhelmed me would not fair or respectful to the people around me especially my husband and daughter.