It is Day 3 of my online writing class and I’m panicking. Mostly because I’m still on some of Day 2 stuff. My mind is very much overwhelmed and had a bout with writer’s block. When I think about writing my thoughts, ideas, etc., I am like deer caught in full ton truck’s headlights. Mostly because I feel like I have to be linear (new thing I learned about myself yesterday) but my thoughts and writings are very much the opposite – nonlinear. I guess I feel like someone is going to grade me for my writing when in reality the only person putting that kind of pressure on me is ME! Wow!
I like to write. I really enjoy writing but I still associate writing with academia, and I feel like I have to be orderly the first time around to have a successful paper. I just need to let go but it’s very difficult. When I start writing, whether it’s in a journal or online, I often start at the top of list, top of an event, etc. I feel like I have to go from top to bottom or else it won’t make sense, but in the process I lose some thoughts I meant to write down. Then later, I think to myself, “I wish I wrote that down!” Then I forget for whatever reason.